Who Remembers KKKatie?

Okay, Oakland, what the fuck, I was walking under the freeway the other day when I saw a ‘kkk’ tag…which, holy shit, that is not going to fly! Oakland doesn’t really stand for racism, unlike San Francisco, which is probably why you should keep your racist ass tagging on the other side of the Bay. And when I say “San Francisco is racist and condones racist tagging” I say that from a place of truth, experience and honesty.

“Why, Pilar, does San Francisco condone racist tagging?” you ask – 

Well, let’s go back to 2008. That’s when I lived in San Francisco, and I remember one day at the bus stop checking out the stickers and seeing quite a curious site – a sticker that had swastikas on it. Initially, I thought, “Oh, is this a thing? Is this a joke? What is going on?” As a mere aficionado and not as a perpetuator of graffiti, maybe the context of seeing that first sticker was unbeknownst to me. 

But it didn’t stop, and as time went on the loathed moniker “KKKatie” started popping up, including emblazoned across the bathrooms at Alamo Square Park, stickered on every newspaper box in both the Lower and Upper Haight, and other various hot spots in the Mission. 

It was until Bay to Breakers that everything came to light. After about 6 months of seeing this kind of stuff around San Francisco, I remember walking into work one day and everyone was huddled around the computer.

“What’s going on, guys?”

“They caught KKKatie!”

Oh shit! There it was, right on the local news. KKKatie had gone to Bay to Breakers, and in the midst of tagging a stream of swastikas on a portapotty, some African American dude tried to stop her, after which she tagged the dude with a swastika! She also tried to bite him before the police came and took her away. She sat in jail for a few days, but after she got out – oh, you’ll never believe this – she did it again! The first thing she did when she got out of jail was go to the Jewish Holocaust Museum and tag swastikas on it. The nerve! So of course she was arrested again, and as they panned to the mug shots – omigod, it was Katie who worked at the hair salon.

“I had no idea.”

“Wow!”

“Oh, ya, totally. I mean, remember when she was hanging out with all those guys from Kentucky? They all just started calling her Racist Katie, cuz she made some remark about black guys, and it just stuck. They were all calling her Racist Katie, but somehow it evolved into KKKatie, and then she started kicking it with those BKF kids. I don’t even know if they’re down with her, but they all just laughed at her when she started doing it, and now I guess she just went crazy…”

Hey, the moral of the story here is: San Francisco is racist as fuck, if something like KKKatie rode for 6 months, and if that ever happens in Oakland please invite me to the public execution because I enjoy that kind of stuff.