He has never looked at this blog, so he doesn’t know the things I write about. But he asked me during one of those late night post coital conversations about it. He asked me what I wrote about him. He asked me if I gave him a good review. So, of course, I smiled at him, and said, “I gave you a great review.”
He probably didn’t know that the nature of this blog isn’t me, directly dick doxing each boy, name by name, blow by blow, with a well thought out rating system. At the time, I thought it was endearing that he wanted me to rate him favorably on my blog as good in bed. I thought it was cute that he cared. But eventually, it got annoying, such as the time that, after thirty minutes of oral sex, and my drunken disinterest in the matter, he asked me, “Was it good? Or was it great?”
“Uhhh….great?” I replied unenthusiastically, but still careful to coddle the ego of a man who was clearly so wrapped up in equating his self worth with his sexual prowess. It’s not my place to dismantle someone’s self esteem by saying, “Look, I’m really drunk, and you’re really drunk, and it was good, but I’ve had better orgasms in my time.” I didn’t want to have sit there and explain that the physiology of my sexual pleasure resulted in a 4/10 orgasm, but that my 4/10 orgasm was mostly due to my own interior factors, such as being drunk and tired, and having used that hitachi wand every fucking day, two to three times a day, in order to get off, which had slightly desensitized my clit to the pleasures of cunnilingus. (Yo, ladies, yeah…a warning: don’t use your hitachi wand every day, two to three times a day, to masturbate, because otherwise it becomes hard to get off with other types of clitoral stimulation unless you take a week long masturbation break, which sucks, because I love masturbating all the time.)
If I were to really sit here and think about how I would rate this guy sexually, however, I would have to say: the sex was great. It really was. There was something fantastic about fucking him, in that his mastery of basic sexual technique, his understanding of sexual stimulation, the psychological aspects of desire, an expert at touch – they were all top notch. His dick was beautiful, and so was he. As per my previous post on rating sex, his technique, style, communication and control were all on point. 8/10 across the board, but there was something missing. There was always something missing with him, and even though I know he will be pleased to know that he got an 8/10 on the Pilar Reyes Scale of Are You Good In Bed, I have to admit that an 8/10 rating feels empty and meaningless when compared to the fact that, as a person, he was thoroughly awful. As a human being, he was hard to be around. Sure, he was thrilling at times, but coping with the narcissism, the insecurity, the addiction, the inconsistency – it made me realize that there are certain things that might not be worth tolerating in order to have 8/10 sex with a hot guy. He can fuck like a champ for all of the world to see, but if I can’t tolerate putting up with him in order to get the sex I so desire, then what’s the point? If I hold my breath and close my eyes whenever he’s around, why do I wait so long just for sex? I use people for sex all the time, so usually it’s not that big of a deal.
So, there you go. If you’re reading this, homeboy, yes, I’m giving you an 8/10, which I hope makes you feel good about yourself. But you suck in so many other ways, so does it really matter if you’re good at fucking?