Wanting

He’s sitting there, piquing my curiosity, and I’m wondering if the reason I feel insecure around him is because he feels insecure around me. Is it mutual? Or do I just feel like a buffoon for no reason. Muster some courage, little girl. Say something funny. I try to be funny, and I wonder if I come off sounding stupid. I wonder if I’m overdressed, or if I’m underdressed, or if I look like shit, or am I possibly sparking some sense of attraction within him? Fuck. Get it together.

I’m usually brimming with confidence, overflowing, really, acting unattainable and feeling overqualified for the flirtation tasks at hand. But, tonight? I’m not sure what’s gripped my usually iron clad self confidence. Maybe this is the alchemy of desire turning everything about myself into air and insecurity, but, here I am, feeling so small, and somehow it also feel so fucking good. 

Get at me, boo.