We don’t really know about the merits of hard work nowadays, mostly because there is no work to do. And even back when there was work for us to do, we didn’t really do it because things came so easily, and money flowed so freely, so it didn’t really matter. But now that there’s no work to do, we just drink quietly and try to tell ourselves that working at some trendy coffee shop, or bar tending, or flubbing our way through menial office jobs is the definition of our modern struggle.
We find people that value ego the same way as ourselves. We find ways to make enough money to buy the things that we want, yet there’s always the echo of some complaint belittling blind consumers who just buy things without heed or concession. After nights of cocaine we relinquish ourselves to delirious fatigue, and in that moment our gratitude for the modern technological revolution and the advent of the Internet as a way to watch movies and get pizza delivered without having to leave the bed immediately belittles the hardwork that the dreamers and the doers have poured into improving life conditions ideally for the lowest among us, but the lowest among us will always be the lowest, and therefore will never experience the fruits of someone else’s labor.
The government has found ways to streamline internal communication, data sharing and wiretapping, yet somehow the line at the EBT office never gets shorter. How does that make sense? We claim to be poor people, mostly because everybody else hates poor people, and being hated by everybody else is exactly in lock step with our own low self esteem, but secretly, and this we tell to no one, we are just middle class poseurs pretending that the concept of a Roth IRA is anathema and frivolous.
I’m supposed to talk about pop culture in this post somewhere, too, right? The ceaselessly spinning wheel of pop culture and the trend frenzy of now this outfit that I bought last year looks totally passe. If anyone ever acts like keeping up with today’s fashion and music trends is a struggle, hit that person in the face numerous times with a blunt object, because anybody that thinks that pop culture is important enough to complain about yet too irrelevant to participate in clearly has their priorities out of line. You either enjoy pop culture, or you don’t, but there’s no point in complaining about it.
Also, that TV show Girls is racist. Kareem Abdul Jabbar told me so. Although what he doesn’t know is that sex in your 20’s can totally be satisfying, if you let it be, and the dumb bitches that have boring sex are exactly that: dumb bitches who have boring sex. I’m just wondering why they can’t be dumb bitches who have boring sex in a less loud and less obnoxious and less on HBO way.
And, if being lost in life but still mostly comfortable is some big sort of travesty for you, go do some yoga or eat a salad or whatever it is that hippies tell you to do when you need to get in touch with yourself, because your propensity for bad relationships, bad sex and being a bad person isn’t very cute or endearing.
Maybe we should all get jobs and plan for retirement and quietly accept the fact that our generation isn’t very interesting, intelligent or artistic. Let’s just call ourselves victims of something vague and move on with things.