This Is the Difference Between You and Me

Game for a dude: everything in the whole world

Game for a girl: I think, therefore I am, therefore people have sex with me, and the thinking part isn’t even that big of a deal.

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“You gotta treat me like a goddess.” ~her

“Then you gotta treat me like a god!” ~him

“That’s not how it works.” ~her

***

“What’s the female equivalent of comparing dick sizes? Is it, like, seeing whose pussy is the deepest?” ~friend

“Nah, it’s more like comparing who has smallest, tightest pussy. But I’ve never done that with my friends.” ~me

“Why not?”

“I don’t know, I’ve just never been drunk in my bedroom with all my girlfriends sticking our fingers up each others’ pussies to determine whose is the best. But a lot of my male friends fuck a lot of my female friends, so I get the review.”

“So who has the nicest pussy?”

“Ugh, I’m not going to tell you, but what I will tell you is that I don’t have any male friends with small penises, which is relief because those guys are assholes.”