The Casual Sex Bill of Rights

Whenever I’m casually hooking up with different people, there seems to be this mentality that along with sex comes a certain set of rights that should be mutually shared among the interacting parties. I understand this notion, especially seeing as we’re living in a first world country where people think that they a whole host of unfounded, arbitrary rights, but it seems that often times people expect something beyond common decency that fringes into a level of disgusting entitlement. This is the type of thing I can’t stand, so, with much glee, I would like to present to you the bad girl’s guide to rights when hooking up with anybody.

You Have the Right to:

– Be aware of any STDs that you might be at risk for.
– Use protection to prevent pregnancy and STD transmission.
– Be treated like a human being.
– Deny consent to any sexual act that you do not want to participate in.
– Give consent at every step of the way.
– Communicate as little or as much as you want after we have hooked up.
– Request that your privacy be respected in regards to the hook up.
– Speak freely about our hook up to your friends.
– Kick me out of your house when you see fit.
– Inform me of your boundaries, before, during or after the hook up. If you feel that these boundaries were violated, please let me know.
– Refuse to hook up with me ever again, say no when I want to kick it or otherwise break off the relationship.

You Do Not Have the Right to:

– Do anything without consent.
– Pull off the condom without consent.
– Know my last name.
– Know where I work.
– My phone number.
– Sleep in my bed.
– Eat my food if you wake up at my house
– Expect free alcohol/cab rides/food from me.
– Know who else I’m sleeping with, their names, how often we fuck, or if I’m in a relationship.
– Feel entitled to fuck me whenever and wherever you want.
– Jeopardize or sabotage any relationships, personal or professional, because you feel butt hurt that things didn’t work out.
– Expect that paying for alcohol/cab rides/dinner entitles you to treat me like sexual property.
– Insult me or slander me or call me a slut because my sexual values do not align with your sexual values. 
– Falsely accuse me of rape, date rape or taking advantage of you if consent was explicitly given.
– Demand that I make any personal or lifestyle changes (eg the way I dress, who my friends are) to accommodate your insecurities.
– Call me your girlfriend.
– Hijack my personal belongings as a way to blackmail me into hanging out with you.
– Tell me to get an abortion if I get pregnant.

Know your rights, bitches!