She Prays

Fervently. And on bended knee. Not daily, but often enough, and in her moments of weakness, she glimpses down, inhales sharply and forces out flustered words mumbled under breath, beseeching some unseen god for some unheard of strength.  Other than … Read more →

I was biking around Downtown Oakland when, on the corner of 14th & Broadway, I ran into this dapper gentleman. He originally caught my eye because I thought that his propaganda had a rather intriguing design working in its favor. And when I read the content of his swill – well, you know. I was intrigued. 

Upon quickly scanning his sign, I patted myself on the back when I realized that I’ve engaged in most of the acts on his sign. Goodie for me!

“Oh, hi, that’s interesting sign there, can I take a picture?” ~me, trying not to feel too much like a hipster class tourist who fetishizes other people’s culture and beliefs for the sake of a funny post on Instagram. But I probably failed at that.

“Yes, yes, and you can take a picture of the back, too!” the gentleman exclaimed at my display of misplaced enthusiasm.

“Are you religious?” ~ me

“Yes, I believe in Jesus Christ! He is the only way to salvation!” ~ gentleman

“Oh, yeah, I’m Catholic.” ~ me as I swing around to snap the back side. “I really dig your message.”

“Thank you, thank you!”

“Have a nice day!”

“You too!”

Because, honestly, you have to respect a man who sits at 14th & Broadway who condemns sexual activity of any sort. As I biked away, I realized that I really wanted to fuck him, but because I don’t have a penis, he probably wouldn’t be down.