Some people only know how to express their emotions through social media posts. This happened to me recently, specifically when someone I was sleeping with casually referred to me as a whore in an ambiguous Instagram post. I know that his post was supposed to elicit some sort of reaction from me, some sort of “I’m so offended!” or otherwise blow up, but I decided instead to unfollow him and chalk it up to poor judgment. If he wants to call me a whore, he can do it to my face and then deal with the blow back of calling a woman like me a whore in front of people we know. No one really has the courage to do that anymore, probably because I’m not a whore because I don’t fuck people for money, but also because feminist goon squads are becoming pretty trendy and also violence isn’t just limited to the realm of men anymore.
In an uncanny follow up event, someone I wasn’t dating and had never slept with tried to jump off the Bay Bridge, and when my ensuing reaction was, “This is never going to work out” (in terms of his romantic pursuit of me), I noted a post on Instagram that said something along the lines of “ride or die bitches don’t exist anymore” minutes after our conversation ended. I found this to be odd, mostly because, who knows, maybe he’s right, but also because I know he’s the type of person who would post things about me that aren’t about me on social media because he’s done it before. I guess I found this to be insulting, too, because it made me think, “Did he think that I owed it to him to ride or die when he wasn’t even my boyfriend?” Also, the subtext that I’m disloyal is completely wrong; I would just never be loyal to someone that hasn’t proven that he’s worth it.
Given that these men are posting things that are about me but that aren’t about me on social media, it makes me wonder: what the fuck? Why not just say it to my face? While, sure, it may seem like I’m the queen of posting things that are about people but aren’t about people on this blog, the main difference is that this blog is a creative pursuit and social media is just a breeding grown for pettiness and drama. It could be said that the things they have posted aren’t about me, just because it makes me look crazy to assume that certain posts from people with whom I have romantic entanglements are about me, but also the point that I’m supposed to do or say something crazy in response. Or I could just not take the bait and let it slide, which I do for the most part, except, of course, for this post. But the point of this post isn’t to throw a temper tantrum but just to point out: people do crazy things for attention and in an attempt to make you do or say things that make you look crazy on the Internet. But guess what! I’m already crazy on the Internet, in a manicured, well thought out manner, and here it is: I’m writing this blog, not giving a fuck about you, but letting the rest of the world know exactly what’s up. I saw that on social media you needed attention, so here ya go! This is me paying attention to you in a forum that I built by myself in a way where you cannot respond, so I hope you like it. Yes, I saw your post, yes, I knew it was about me, and, yes, I am still an independent woman who makes her own sexual decisions and is loyal to the people to whom I choose to be loyal because I have agency in America in 2016. So, go ahead and say whatever you want about whores and the dearth of ride or die bitches. Even if it’s not about me, you still look like an asshole for posting vaguely misogynistic content on the Internet. Have fun with that.