So What, I’m a Slut

Actually, I’m not a slut anymore. I think my slutty phase is over, which is a relief, because now I can just be casually and quietly sexually affluent. I’ve decided to graduate from one night stands and multiple partners to serial monogamy, mainly for the reason that serial monogamy seems like a very adult thing to get into, like wine and golf. Multiple partners, much like Facebook and following fashion blogs on Instagram – well, it was fun while it lasted, but, woah, is it way more work than it is worth. Maybe it’s also that I’m older and there are fewer options, but careening through penis with the reckless abandon of a 19 year old just isn’t cutting it anymore. All things in moderation, right? 

I’ve also come to notice that whereas, when I was young, if I encountered a fresh social circle full of 8-10 dudes that are all equally attractive and pretty much indistinguishable, my approach to fuck ‘em all was to one night stand my way through the entire group, now I can play the dating game to fuck the choicer of the bunch. 

And, wait, you know what? Fuck you! I’m well aware that talking about my sexual preference for fucking a high volume of people rather than settling down for one person makes me, by all social standards, a so-called “slut,” I really resent the fact that, time after time, dude after dude, girl after girl, being a normal, average girl who’s into these kinds of things really threatens people. But, guess what, I don’t give a fuck! I get mine, and it’s not my fault that you’ve decided to project your insecurities onto me today. I’m afflicted with a severe case of penis curiosity, but I’m also pretty sure that there’s nothing wrong with wanting to touch and wanting to get touched. It feels fucking amazing. 

Although, on a side note here, I have decided that my New Year’s Resolution is to swear off one night stands, because (Jesus Christ, I’m rambling today!) it’s just getting boring to me. Sure, some people might still find them to be intriguing, but I’ve gotten the one night stand bug out of my system. However, fret not, there are still a ton of sexually kinky bugs that I need to get out of my system, the anal sex and sex in public bugs being the most insatiable ones that have been bugging me lately. 

Sex is so much fun. I’m so grateful that I get to have it with so many beautiful people.