Well, here we are, fellow members of society. The truth has come to light: men have been doing fucked up things to us for a long time. Although, if you wanted to know about this it was information that has always been readily available. It’s just making national headlines now.
What dismays me the most is knowing that our society is not a place where our sexual attitudes are conducive to communication, sexual growth and sexual exploration. If anything, recent accusations create an anxiety around sexual exploration, but mostly because we are at a point where we aren’t talking about prevention, we are only talking about punishment. I’m not one for fear entering the sexual equation (unless, y’know, that’s what we’re doing and that’s what we’re into), but I will admit that sexual fear in both men and women is not conducive to good sex. Unfortunately, we’re at a point where we can’t even talk about good sex because there is so much bad, nonconsensual,violating, rapey sex going on.
As usual, I blame men for sucking all the fun out of sex. It’s very annoying – all they have to do is talk to their partners, get consent, and know how to handle rejection with grace. All of those things are not inherently unsexy. They are, in fact, factors that make the sexual experience all around more gratifying.
But what I’ve been seeing from men (on social media mostly) is an ongoing commitment to the fuck boy lifestyle and/or an obvious misunderstanding of the entire situation which manifests as good intentions but presents as cringey ignorance. I wonder if this generation of men is too far gone – perhaps we can’t teach these old dogs new tricks. Which is why I hope that the next generation of men will be presented with better discourse and options when it comes to sexuality.