Say No to Quickies

As a woman, I never really understood quickies or how they were supposed to work for me. Maybe that’s because I’ve never had a successful quickie that brought me to a satisfactory climax. Mostly when I hear someone say, “Let’s have a quickie,” I, as a straight cis woman who fucks dudes, hear, “Hey, I want to cum and I don’t want to put in any work, and I’m going to cum prematurely, and I want you to be emotionally prepared for that, so can you lube up your vagina and make this work for me because why would I masturbate when a fully functional pussy is right there?”

Ugh. Stop.

I mean, I’m totally happy to hear anyone out who has had a great, successful quickie. (And by anyone, I mean fellow femmes and bottoms.) Me? I mostly feel like a cum rag after a quickie. I feel filled up with disappointment, not dick, and it makes me feel very confused. Like: why would I ever talk to you again? Why am I talking to you right now? Why did I talk to you in the first place? Why are you [20 or 30 something] and still oblivious to female sexuality? My pussy isn’t a button you press for two minutes and out pops an orgasm like an Easy-Bake Oven.

Of course, I wish my orgasms did pop out just on sheer mental power, but, alas, I’m a woman, and my orgasms are better than a man’s, so I guess that’s a fair trade off when the sex is good.