On Sucking Dick Part II

Sucking dick is hard to do. Yet men consistently insist on women mastering advanced level fellatio techniques such as deep throating. And women are so eager to do it. So eager, in fact, that they post videos of themselves putting all sorts of weird things down their throats. Women are out there, bragging about how good they are at sucking dick, putting work in, practicing their technique. Yet when it comes to licking pussy, I fail to see the same level of enthusiasm coming from our male counterparts. Which is crazy, because licking pussy is way easier than sucking dick. (After vast amounts of empirical research, this is a conclusion that I stand behind firmly.) What’s even crazier is knowing that licking pussy is way easier, yet men still manage to be bad at it. Crazy, right? Here we are, us women, sticking cucumbers down our throat and suppressing our gag reflexes while guys bitch and moan that “it tastes weird.” Newsflash: dick ain’t so tasty, either, but we put up with it and don’t complain because we’re nice people. Whatever happened to “Be a man!” or “Man up!” I’d like to see men, on a macrocosmic cultural level, man up and eat more pussy. I want to see men posting videos of themselves writing the alphabet with their tongue. I want men sitting on the bus on the way to work, doing tongue kegels so they can strengthen their mouth and step up their cunnilingus game. Fuck that Lolita lollipop sucking bullshit – the next sexy pic I get from a guy better be him licking his way to the middle of a tootsie pop and telling me that my orgasm is the surprise inside. Licking pussy is some day one bullshit, and if the sexual culture that I came up in is telling me that I need to learn how to throat nine inches of dick in order to be a well rounded woman, how come it isn’t telling the person on the other side of those nine inches that he needs to take twenty minutes to eat me out, and if he’s not good at it he’s a failure as a man? Let’s change that. I’d like to affect this positive change in our culture. Eat more pussy, and be good at it, too.