Me, at the End of 2017

Slip into chaos. Here I am, yet again, besieged by my own demons and drowning in myself. The ugliness inside me is starting to come out, yet again. Like a monster in the night, but this is my day to day. This is who I am, or who I have always been. This is what I have become in a world like this. Every day is a fight for my life, and I am a fighter who has been scarred by an insatiable world.

I am living in a paradigm that has been designed to defeat me. I make small victories in the day to day, but nothing is ever enough. This life is insurmountable. Even if I win, who will I be in the end? After I have been bloodied and broken in so many new ways. Even if I walk away from this fight, will my head be held high? Will I even be able to walk? Or will I crawl away, crying. Or will I just die trying.