Shit is hard right now. I wish I had anything else to write about right now, but I don’t. This isn’t a very erotic epoch in Oakland. Have you seen the recent call outs?
All I can do for now is sit with this pain and learn to live with it. Find a way to function. Hold onto my voice with nails sunk in until my fingers break off. This blog is a fucking whimper compared to what it used to be. But I can’t sit here and pretend like everything’s okay. I can’t pretend that I’m happy with the way Oakland is now. It’s gotten worse here progressively since I started this blog five and a half years ago. Part of me is afraid that maybe I’m getting old and bitter, but I also know I could have gotten old and comfortable. I am not comfortable. In any sense of the word. I wish part of this could be funny or silly. I just don’t feel that way anymore.
It’s fucking frustrating.