The Last Person Who Hung Up On Me

A friend of mine called me on the phone the other day, and I picked up because it had been a while. The conversation, at first, was going well, and then, suddenly, he touched on a subject I knew was going to come up eventually because I’m pretty active on the Internet so I knew the tea.

He started talking about trans women playing sports. He had an interesting perspective on sportsmanship, but, at the end of the conversation, I realized: I don’t really care. The conversation was pointless. As I sat there, growing tired of his transphobic rant (that he swore up and down was not transphobic), I realized that this conversation was probably pretty meaningless, and I’m not interested in meaningless conversations. We could be talking about anything, about something interesting, about our lives, but instead, here we are, bickering about a topic over which neither of us have any power and that doesn’t impact us in any way.

Really, what’s the point in talking about trans women in sports. As a cis woman, I don’t play sports and therefore will never have to face this issue head on. He, as a cis man, will never know what it’s like to be a cis woman playing a sport with a trans woman. Sure, we can muse of the situation, but neither of us have any connections, impact or influence over this topic in the real world. Neither one of us is ever going to right legislation or set league rules or coach a team. We’re just going to sit here, have this conversation, bicker a bit, and then move on.

It was a very disappointing conversation. All I got out of it was a lack of respect for him at the end, which was actually pretty upsetting because all he had to do was not talk about something that didn’t effect him. I tried to explain to him that his opinion was pointless. He didn’t take it very well.

But that’s fine. All I want to do is support my trans friends and get on with it. Him? I guess he ostracized all his trans friends last week and I’m the last person who will pick up the phone to let him rant about this topic. Shame on me. I should know better. I’m only picking up booty calls from here on out.

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