kingjaffejoffer:

Wouldn’t it be cool if vaginas spewed little raffle tickets like the arcade machines when you get a lot of points. 

Remember the joy and pride you experienced as a kid when you kicked ass at a game and after it was over, an endless stream of tickets pumped out of the machine. Pretty soon, onlookers stopped what they were doing to look at your growing pile of tickets fell out of the arcade in waves.

“Damn, that little kid must be the king of Skee-Ball, look at all those tickets”

Those tickets were a reward and also validation that you were not to be fucked with in Skee Ball. 

All I’m saying is, after you put in work on the pussy… it would be nice if a full 87 seconds elapsed where prize tickets were coming out of the crack of a woman’s ass for a job well done. You can redeem those tickets for a night out with your boys without hearing her fucking mouth. Or maybe she’ll let you cum on her face without wearing Harriet Tubman headwraps and shit.

That would also eliminate the awkward conversations women sometimes have to have with their man who isn’t hitting the pussy right. You’re sitting there waiting on your tickets and you only get 2. 

Then your woman looks at you like

image

“you didn’t actually do that good…. machine ain’t broke’