How To Deal With Your Feminist Double Standards While Enjoying Misogynistic Rap Music

“We need to get away from this culture in bars where it’s okay for men to go up to women and grope them. It’s just not okay.” I’m talking to my friend who DJs in local bars in Downtown Oakland, and I completely agree with him.

“Absolutely. I can name a few bars that I never go to because I’m sick of this shit happening.”

“Yeah, we need to do something to train security so that they can prevent women getting groped. It’s bad for business.”

“Yes. However, it’s kinda hard to discourage men treating women like pieces of meat on the dance floor when we’re playing music by Too $hort and the Ying Yang Twins. If you’re blasting “wait til you see my dick!” to the crowd but telling men not to flash their dicks at women…it can be a bit confusing.”

“Oh. Fuck. You’re right.”

“Don’t get me wrong, though. I’m a sex positive feminist, through and through, but, my god, do I love listening to Mac Dre rap about pimping women. It’s just…it’s so good!”

“Do you think it’s hypocritical to tell men to not grope women when we play music that tells them to do the exact opposite?”

“Nah. Not at all. People need to be able to separate artistic representation from their current reality through critical thinking. Granted, when you’re drunk at a club, that might not be on people’s mind. But we can enjoy the politically incorrect music of Too $hort while simultaneously respecting women. Shit ain’t that serious.”

“Yea, but people who come to dance to this music are probably a part of the culture that spawned it. Local rappers talk about pimping women because that’s what the local culture is all about.”

“Totally, but this is bars. Pimping doesn’t happen in Downtown Oakland bars. The music gets played, but the culture isn’t present. People come to bars to socialize and also to experiment with what is and isn’t socially acceptable, especially on a sexual level. If we nip that kind of sexually aggressive harassment in the bud, then we create a culture that condones appreciating local rap music but condemns disrespectful behavior without creating too much cognitive dissonance within the audience.”

“Yeah, I grew up listening to Too $hort. Love his music, but, damn, I am not down for disrespecting women like that.”

“If you can wrap your head around it, then so can anybody else. And the people who can’t, the people who expect to be able to grope and harass women – they’ll know that these bars are not the place for them and they should leave, or, if they want to stay, they’ll learn to accept the social code that disavows sexual harassment.”

“Training security to deal with this problem, and also letting women know that they can speak up against men who do this is going to help change this culture. So many times, women don’t know that if they’re being harassed that they should go to security first to get the guy 86’d. Dudes go to bars to talk to women, but if women don’t feel comfortable at a bar, they’ll leave, and that’s bad for business.”

“Yo, I am all down for you, as a man, doing everything to make me, as a woman, feel comfortable hanging out in bars. I also hold my own and will beef with any dude who tries to touch me in bars. It’s kinda funny, actually.”

“Yeah, well, long gone are the days when a woman in a bar was a dangerous thing to be. Or even tacky. Women of all ages hang out in bars now, and it’s totally socially acceptable.”

“Here’s to the rise of the female alcoholic bar fly!”

“You’re just talking about yourself now, aren’t you?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I am.”