A Fun Trip to The Sex Shop to Buy Lube on A Saturday Morning in Oakland, CA

“I’m serious. You need to buy some lube. We’re going to the sex shop right now.”

“What! But I thought you said you had lube!”

“Yeah, I do, but I keep it at my house. We mostly have sex at your house. And you don’t have lube.”

“Why don’t you just bring it over to my house and keep it there?”

“Because I use it throughout the week and I don’t want to be stuck at my own house without lube.”

“Huh? What are you using lube for on the daily?”

“For my kegel balls. Anyways, you need to be a good sex host and have some lube. You realize this is why we never have anal sex, right?”

“Fine, fine, you’re right. I’ll just go to Walgreen’s to get it this week.”

“No! We’re going to the sex shop, and I’m not letting you buy the cheapest shit they have.”

“What! You’re already making me buy lube, and now I have to cash out?”

“You realize that lube is a chemical that is literally going inside my body, staying there, and getting absorbed into my lower intestine, right? It’s not something I can just wipe off. You’re getting something that isn’t going to give me cancer twelve years from now.”

“Ugh, fine, okay…”

“On the upside, we can start having more anal sex now!”

“I think you’re more into anal sex than I am.”

“Yeah. I probably am. But, whatever! Win-win for me.”