I am aware that as a social person, my sexual relationships are subject to analysis by uninvolved, third parties, namely your friends and my friends. That’s fine, although at times I must admit I am shocked about how messy people’s friends can be. Having been around the block often enough to know who your friends are, I have to wonder: why let your friends snitch on you on social media? Why let your friends create more drama by running their mouths at the bar? I get that your friends know what my pussy tastes like because you told them every detail. My friends know the exact angle at which your dick stands when it gets hard and the velocity of your thrust. That’s just friend shit. But letting your friends get involved in your relationship or in any way impact the outcome of your relationship in a negative manner? That’s amateur shit, and I’m pretty sure that person isn’t your friend.
I would like to extend a moment of gratitude towards my friends for not being messy. All of us have been slutty for long enough to know how to not mess things up. We don’t snitch on each other, we don’t chase each other’s boos, and we know how to collect intel on each other’s lovers by utilizing and tried and true social drag net that we have honed over the years. We know how to walk into a bar and say, “Well, both my boyfriends are here tonight. Hold me down, I think I’m gna pick up someone new tonight.” We can do that, because we have social grace and we know how to work the room so that we can fuck whoever we want without it being a problem. Unless, of course, we want a problem because sometimes we get bored and problems can be fun.
So my question to you is: do your friends hold you down? Do they help you get laid? Are they nice to your lovers in a way that is cordial but not too familiar? Your friends should never try to fuck your lover unless you have a stated prior agreement about the matter. Your friends should make you look good to your lovers. Your friends should never engage in some sort of ego fuelled fuck war for attention. You and your friends should be a seamless group of sex, and y’all better hold each other down. Because if you don’t, me and my friends will know that you’re weak, and we’ll act accordingly.