Part of my new year’s resolution was take a month off of Facebook. It’s already working great! I’ve been writing up a storm, which feels phenomenal, and I’m less depressed because I don’t feel like I’m drowning in other people’s opinion of the world and, by extension, me.
The extra amount that I’ve started writing is actually pretty startling. I realize that when I started this blog five and a half years ago, Facebook wasn’t what it is today. The algorithms were different and they hadn’t used science to make us addicted to other people’s boring ass status updates. I mean, let’s be honest – Facebook is pretty fucking dry, but if you’re in any way socially or professionally indebted to the set up of our capitalist system, it feels very necessary. Which is so annoying.
Now that I’m not on Facebook and I find myself more inclined to write, I realize: I have been using most of my writing skills to talk shit on the Internet. I am disappointed in myself. Mostly because I don’t need Facebook to talk shit on the Internet. I started this blog because I had so much shit to say, I couldn’t be contained by a platform as simplistic and short sighted as Facebook. But now I realize that Facebook has started to contain me and all my rambling, incessant, incoherent, unpopular opinions. Shame on me.
Oh, and I felt so addicted to Facebook, too. Just always looking for something else to comment on or more drama. I mean, fuck, yeah, I love drama! But let’s take this drama to the streets and see who can really fight, okay? But I was addicted to Facebook in a way that was just…uncool. For example, now that I’m single again, I’ve decided that I need a new hobby. I realize that perhaps Facebook was my hobby, and now that I don’t have Facebook I can legitimately start getting into new hobbies.
I’m sure I’ll wean myself back onto Facebook eventually, but, right now, it feels great. Everyone has an Internet persona, but I get to be me, fully me, on my website, saying whatever I want, screaming into a vacuum, making myself laugh, and not having to deal with any real world consequences for what I say. This is exactly how I like it. No one interrupts me or corrects me. I just idle here, feeling cozy among the keys. Life is good.