King Congo Dong
Ya, I know what y’all are thinking. Isn’t that a blatantly racist thing to say? But, no, no, it’s not. It’s an adage that my ex-boyfriend of the African American persuasion used to call his penis, which to me was … Read more →
sex
Run In/Run Down
Seeing you at bars. Glancing away slightly and pretending not to notice. I probably should have fucked someone else by now, but my lazy ass hasn’t really mustered up the courage to spend enough money and time at the bar … Read more →
Cunnilingus Versus Fellatio
Let’s be honest with ourselves. Any guy that refuses to perform cunnilingus or is not good at it – what the fuck are you doing? Having been on the outside looking in at both types of human genitalia, I’d have … Read more →
So What, I’m a Slut
Actually, I’m not a slut anymore. I think my slutty phase is over, which is a relief, because now I can just be casually and quietly sexually affluent. I’ve decided to graduate from one night stands and multiple partners to … Read more →
Call A Cab, I’m Coming!
And then we both roll over with a sigh of relief, and he walks to the bathroom to take off the condom and properly dispose of it in the trash (although flushing it down the toilet would mean that when … Read more →
Commentary on Love Triangle
“And then he told me that he loves me!” she squealed, clutching her drink to her bosom. I, on the other hand, tried to hide my eye roll while chugging down a mouthful of tequila, hoping that the other side … Read more →