Just for shits and giggles, I recently entered into a bet with a few friends (for CASH MONEY) to see who could be sober the longest in January. It’s kind of a New Year’s Resolution-y wager, and seeing as I dragged some of my more (most?) alcoholic young friends into it, I’m feeling pretty confident that I’m going to sweep the whole thing. However, I have to admit that when I made this bet, I was not banking on how actually difficult/boring/uneventful being sober was going to be. Maybe I’m doing it wrong, and, yes, I have a ton of friends who are sober or in AA so I know what this whole sobriety thing is really about, but my main issue right now is mostly that, holy shit, how do I go out and fuck people now? Because, in case you haven’t noticed, I have an entire blog revolving around getting drunk and fucking people. It’s not that I can’t meet people when sober, or hit on people when sober, or go on dates while sober, or even have sober sex – it’s more to do with the fact that the social circle within which I am deeply integrated is almost entirely dependent on that whole ‘going to bars to find someone to fuck’ thing. Maybe my sober game is just rusty, or maybe showing up at 355 at midnight with a smile on my face and short skirt is the lazy thing to do. I guess there’s also that thing where alcohol lowers not only my inhibitions but also my standards, because it’s happened more than once that, in an early morning haze, I’ve rolled over in semi-sobriety and wonder what the fuck was I thinking last night? At which point, I remember that I was at Ruby Room, so not only was I not really thinking at all but I also couldn’t see shit, so lucky for this guy, but I’m going to call him a cab so that he gets the fuck out of here within the next 15 minutes. Okay?